I see this guy almost every day,
A mist of tears guarded by steely eyes.
A mysterious smile, unfathomable and
His thoughts impenetrable.
So, I wonder what he’s truly like.
What are his core characteristics?
Are they laudable or sinister?
When he looks back at me,
He sometimes waves and smiles.
But he is guardedly quiet. Shy?
He seems gentle, offering a warm smile
That radiates like comforting rays of the sun
And yet, there is a spoke or two missing
From the wheel of his personality. Strange.
But outwards he seems genuine, yet distant.
Strength wrapped inside a weak exterior,
Honesty prized, but not faithfully adhered to.
I once heard him say,
“Everyone lies. Everyone. Even the Pope.”
I thought, “Damn if he isn’t right.”
But is he good or bad?
Or mostly good, or mostly bad?
How can one tell that of a stranger?
I’ve seen this guy act strangely, too; very atypical.
He appears to work hard at restraint.
Yet, at times, I see a flush of anger,
And it appears to be self-anger.
What did he do? How can I find out?
I know he has a family, pictures on his desk.
Pretty wife, daughter, two grand kids.
Normal, right? But something is off-center.
Friendly, gentle, cooperative, even humorous,
But is there a subterranean layer of violence?
I saw that once and heard it from others.
A Janus-faced man, looking over his shoulders.
Guilt? Hunted? Haunted?
I’ve always wanted to strike up a conversation,
But he always acts too busy. Distracted? Avoidance?
I admit that this guy gets under my skin.
It has turned into an obsession. Who is he really?
He avoids socializing but is friendly when he does.
Yet he seems to hide the fact that he is bored.
Not in the least unfriendly. Perhaps indifferent,
As if the event or group was a frivolous expenditure of his time,
And that he could have been doing much more important things.
And there’s that remoteness about him,
His persistent avoidance of personal topics.
That has led to rumors about Vietnam, Special Forces missions,
Even FBI and the CIA with a military Top-Secret clearance.
I dared ask him about that once and he laughed loudly.
“None of it true, except for the Top-Secret clearance.
“I’m just quiet, private and not demonstrative or ostentatious,” he said.
I once heard him say to a flirtatious secretary, “Alone, but not lonely.”
Devoted to wife and family is what I think he meant.
In the hallway, standing by the water cooler mirror, I asked him
If he was as quiet with his family. The puzzling response?
“There is a great deal of difference between a diffident man and
Reticent one.” Damn! Off to find a dictionary, again.
What is it with this guy? And why do I like him?
I want to know his ideas, wishes, goals, ambitions.
“I’m not worth that much interest. I’m no one special.
No secret James Bond identity,” he says.
And that makes me wonder about him even more
Because isn’t that exactly what a person with a secret
Identity would have to say. I once saw him at a mall,
Thousands of glass fronts acting like mirrors.
I turned and waved to him. He said a polite, “Hello.”
Now isn’t that what a dark, twisted person would do?
Hide his evil behind a mask of politeness, right?
He is a strange man, basically a stranger.
So why do I speculate so much and so often about him?
Why do I even care about him?
Then one morning, like thousands of other routine mornings
I saw him shaving. Oh, him again, I thought.
Suddenly he broke the mirror, and I could no longer see him.
I screamed, “Where are you? Who the hell are you?”
Commentaires